So, might get a dream job, painted a wall with an international street artist, met another great artist, and got invited to a project related to art in another country, will do a gig on my bday and friends are awesome.
Life is doing well, just until I get to that part that still misses , I want to share all of this and I can't, for now. So these last days I tend to get drunk and a pain in the ass, and I write things that will probably only be posted where when I die, I guess life is a huge weird lovely mess.
quinta-feira, 12 de julho de 2018
sábado, 9 de junho de 2018
Everything is great again, until it isn't.
Everything is great, you got your pc and gaming/streaming rig all set up, you play, you make music, you play your drums and your bass, you go out with friends and party, everything is great, but it isn't.
When everything stops you just feel empty, worthless, nothing done has had value, purpose or been of help, it feels like you are lost inside yourself, like there is a weight on you, in your core and for hours or days it just haunts you, nowadays to the point of thinking on some solutions to end it. And you dream, you dream of your death, of an empty planet with only you in it, of screaming and raging in to the empty.
And then everything is great again, until it isn't.
When everything stops you just feel empty, worthless, nothing done has had value, purpose or been of help, it feels like you are lost inside yourself, like there is a weight on you, in your core and for hours or days it just haunts you, nowadays to the point of thinking on some solutions to end it. And you dream, you dream of your death, of an empty planet with only you in it, of screaming and raging in to the empty.
And then everything is great again, until it isn't.
terça-feira, 3 de abril de 2018
quick blurp
Decided to do a quick update:
Trying to get better life quality, went from depressive to mildly depressive but highly apathetic (with some exceptions towards some friends), I'm trying to keep my chin up, although everyday is yet a struggle of its own.
Hopefully Ill change work and that gets me on a better track, also, got invited to do some music for an upcoming videogame, I guess I'll take the challenge.
Hope everyone is ok, whoever you people are !
Trying to get better life quality, went from depressive to mildly depressive but highly apathetic (with some exceptions towards some friends), I'm trying to keep my chin up, although everyday is yet a struggle of its own.
Hopefully Ill change work and that gets me on a better track, also, got invited to do some music for an upcoming videogame, I guess I'll take the challenge.
Hope everyone is ok, whoever you people are !
domingo, 21 de janeiro de 2018
FML
How weird is it that some days ago I was saying that not writing around here was a good sign, and yet here I am.
Probably what brings me here, is me trying to connect with people and not being able to or doing so and afterwards feeling like life has gone downhill.
Overthinking was in mind, but in a way that seems like rubbish, one cannot overthink on what he understands, but then if such is the case, what am I not understanding on the why of this feeling?!?
The more I am with people and have a laugh the bigger is the fall, if Im alone it seems like its the same, its like an emotional roller coaster , and I have never been too keen on them.
I wonder if this will ever stop !
Probably what brings me here, is me trying to connect with people and not being able to or doing so and afterwards feeling like life has gone downhill.
Overthinking was in mind, but in a way that seems like rubbish, one cannot overthink on what he understands, but then if such is the case, what am I not understanding on the why of this feeling?!?
The more I am with people and have a laugh the bigger is the fall, if Im alone it seems like its the same, its like an emotional roller coaster , and I have never been too keen on them.
I wonder if this will ever stop !
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