segunda-feira, 19 de junho de 2017

days and days

Days are at work, sometimes with friends, some old, but mainly some new, maybe in the midsts of all this overwhelming feeling of loneliness I might say I have been lucky to have met some nice, good people and showing them around, that does take my mind of myself  for a while.

Yet it seems that is has become exponentially harder to feel, I mean truly feel, mainly to feel appreciated, not by words but by deeds, actions.

I came to wonder on how have I left my mark in this world, is it enough, what more can I do, how will i be remembered?

People will have so much difficulty understanding this, the word and the deed, not thinking on the good, but living in the negative to create more, one might say happiness leaves a person dull, but it does give them so much more of a light hearted posture, but then again, we all have our purpose on this world and mine is set to be on the darker side I suppose.

The end will tell how I fared.

segunda-feira, 1 de maio de 2017

One good day, two bad days

Great day, meeting with my norwegian bro and friends, I must say I have great friends, still after a couple of drinks and giggles, I hit home.

There is this huge feeling when I lay down in top of the bed, as if my body got lighter , mainly because my soul got heavier and emptier , I feel very conflicted with my own existence every time I look inside myself after these brief moments.
The loneliness that I feel is overwhelming to say the least
Not sure of who I am in this world.

terça-feira, 25 de abril de 2017

Ramblings !

Um dia de alegria são dois ou três de tristeza profunda, alienação, sentimento de desnorte, falta de utilidade.
Corre talvez nestas veias algo de estranho que não consigo precisar com exactidão o que seja que me mete neste estado, sinto-me como num filme e começo a não entender se isto é a realidade ou a realidade é quando estou alegre. As coisas que me distraiam são agora um aborrecimento, fica mais difícil de esconder os meus olhos dos poucos que realmente olham para eles.
Sou um ser fragmentado, penso que me quero perder em mim mesmo e na solidão que sinto dentro de mim num momento e no outro anseio por uma lufada de ar fresco e companhia.

Ser isto que sou, seja eu o que seja, torna-se um peso demasiado grande para algo tão pequeno quanto a minha humanidade o é.

terça-feira, 28 de março de 2017


I guess, it's depression time again, things start to get heavier in my mind. There is huge sense of lack of purpose, nothing I do seems to have meaning, so I just sit and listen to music, which might not help, then again, it tends to take me to this world so far away from my body that numbs my persona.

Sorry for not writing nothing decent, but I'm trying to keep away form whiskey when I get like this.

"A man with no purpose
A sea with no tides
burning roots beneath frozen moons
embracing the cold
embracing the world"
- Siivet

P.S. Enjoy the music

quinta-feira, 4 de fevereiro de 2016


Its kind of funny, that , sometimes I need to say I read something and just reposted it , because if I said I wrote it people wouldn't believe it.

In a way I guess the first part of my plan worked, barely no one knows me, actually sees my skills or knows what I am able to do, thus it's time for part two.

"In a world of light and darkness, the shadows are rulers of all"

quarta-feira, 4 de novembro de 2015

Small update !

Finally trying hard to get a musical project to life, also still very lost from times to times, I guess some smiles leave bigger holes than others.

domingo, 27 de setembro de 2015

The monetization of love

Love is now a coin, power
It is not a feeling anymore
It is a stock in the market of life
A buy and sell interaction at the frivolity  on to which  society has told us to act upon
It is to buy on the instance of pleasure and fast enrichment of the passion
And to sell on the first hardship it encounters though as little as it may be
Love is no longer something to build
It is now a product, pre-made, microwave ready
Consume and throw it away
The beauty of building is lost
Maybe that is why the value of things hand made is so low compared to that of  mass production
We have lost the ability to built things by ourselves
But love
Love is nature
And if nature can crack the cement poured on top of it
Then Love
Love can certainly tip this monopolized market of fast satisfaction
For the price to pay upon its failure would strip us of what makes us human
Our kindness